I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
