508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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