I just saw a hot homeless man
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
