Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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