omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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