I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
