Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
