she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
