White coat. Heels.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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