DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
