just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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