So drunk its hurt
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
