maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
