I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
