Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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