So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
