Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
