she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize