At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
