my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Panties = found
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