I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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