1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
