I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
