Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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