My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She said her name was "party"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
