I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
