you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
