I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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