D3 body, D1 cock
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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