i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
