what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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