They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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