So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
