i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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