Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
