i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
