My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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