if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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