Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize