69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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