Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
