Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
