id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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