I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
