youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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