is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize