I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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