Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
