I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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