I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
