I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
