Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.

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(303): Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/e8mh

Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (490)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"

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(908): there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel" http://tfl.nu/ti94

Replies (12) Good night (899) Bad night (2165)
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(956): View more from Texas

She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.

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(956): She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy. http://tfl.nu/bi3k

Replies (11) Good night (1465) Bad night (4090)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

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(513): I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this. http://tfl.nu/ok35

Replies (20) Good night (6413) Bad night (1195)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby

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(203): all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby http://tfl.nu/jjj6

Replies (18) Good night (1655) Bad night (5189)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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(859): Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine. http://tfl.nu/7uwl

Replies (15) Good night (4935) Bad night (1420)
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(613): View more from Ontario

at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.

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(613): at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner. http://tfl.nu/n8w7

Replies (7) Good night (3416) Bad night (778)
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(310): View more from California

I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers

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(310): I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers http://tfl.nu/hjyr

Replies (4) Good night (2338) Bad night (898)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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(774): there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours? http://tfl.nu/8xmr

Replies (7) Good night (3962) Bad night (764)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

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(413): It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back. http://tfl.nu/936t

Replies (14) Good night (1286) Bad night (2387)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.

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(404): I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach. http://tfl.nu/8lzh

Replies (1) Good night (1628) Bad night (665)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...

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(864): Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right... http://tfl.nu/ms5r

Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (443)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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(217): I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right? http://tfl.nu/k5yu

Replies (11) Good night (576) Bad night (912)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.

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(405): Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking. http://tfl.nu/sqkf

Replies (28) Good night (641) Bad night (362)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.

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(215): Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit. http://tfl.nu/8h56

Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (665)

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