i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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