The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch