also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.