just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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