Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
