I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
