Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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