I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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