Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My breasts were aching with rage.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
