some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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