When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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