dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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