Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize