When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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