i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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